Online Dating Experience (With Screenshots!)

Reviewing online dating apps was a fun exercise, and you all seemed to enjoy the post (a sincere thanks for all the ad clicks! Please keep clicking!), so here comes the sequel: The Online Dating App Experience - With Screenshots!

I think posting actual examples of messages is a good way to illustrate what it's like to try and find dates online. Of course, it is just my experience, since every screenshot below is of a message I personally received on my dating profiles. Everyone else's experience may be completely different, and it goes without saying that it is all valid.

Note that I am fully aware that it's not only women who get terrible first messages and are insulted and objectified at online dating sites/apps. What transfolk, disabled people and people of colour experience trying to date online is much more horrifying. People of all genders can be desperate, clueless, racist, classist and everything else in between.

Online harassment is a problem for everyone.

Yet, I am a straight white cis woman, and I mostly deal with straight cis men online, so naturally every message below comes from a man.

I've been having it quite good with online messages for a while, honestly. I haven't gotten a dick pic in a long time. I haven't been called a bitch or asked if I was a feminist. (I am, duh.)

Most of the messages I get are vapid one-liners, inane references to my practice of Brazilian jiu-jitsu, out-of-context compliments or just lazy "hellos". Then there are some odd ones. And ones with sexual undertones. And the combination of all of the above. I don't frequently engage the messengers, which probably accounts for lack of post-rejection insults.

Online Dating: A Very Biased Review of Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid and Coffee Meets Bagel

"Now where is my bagel?"

Despite being busy with fun stuff like training Brazilian jiu-jitsu and working, I am single and thus receptive of going out on a date every once in a while. And thanks to various mobile apps and online dating services, at times I happen to be dating quite actively.

Online dating used to be weird. I remember the days when it wasn't strange to suggest lying to your families about how you met, if you met your partner online. Today, so much of people's lives happens online, that online dating has successfully claimed its own sweet spot in our collective cyberspace as well. It is no longer much stranger than updating friends on what you ate or what you thought about the latest Marvel movie.

Online dating websites are still alive and well (or so I've heard), but it's online dating apps where it's at these days. I also find most of my dates online. My social circle, although not small by any means, happens to consist of people who are already settled, happily or otherwise. I work from home and spend a lot of time training BJJ, which limits my time and, indeed, opportunity to meet someone new in the wild (although things happen). So I turn to online dating again and again, despite not having much luck with the most popular dating apps out there.

After all, dating is fun, even if it doesn't bring desired results.

Oddly, when it comes to finding people online, I do best with Reddit. I owe Reddit several very close and very treasured friends, several casual relationships and one full-blown ex-boyfriend with whom I don't talk anymore. These are all stories worth telling, but not today.